she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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