? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
MIDGETS
????
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
