Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
