i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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