I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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