i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How's work?
Spinning.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
