Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
