I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
