oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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