The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
