I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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