It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
