The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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