I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
