dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
