i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
