Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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