there was a trapeze. enough said
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
