If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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