I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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