Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
