nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
