too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
