in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
