and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
