so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
