I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize