we're blogging at a bar
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
