Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
