My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
