dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How's work?
Spinning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
