i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
