Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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