When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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