I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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