her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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