Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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