Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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