there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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