life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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