In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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