you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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