His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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