The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
