youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
