I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize