He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
