i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
17 year olds will be the death of me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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