I wish I could teleport
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
