Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
