WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
