new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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