I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
