I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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