Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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