Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
