I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize