I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
