just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
