You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
