Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
