Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
