I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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