Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
